OPRAH'S DEAD SON
A Free Novel
Synopsis.
Giselle Winters is a smart, attractive, 37-year-old, divorced math teacher living in Rockford, Illinois. She has five dogs, a little less than two million dollars and constant, severe migraine headaches. She gets a mysterious phone call at school. A voice says, "I'm the Mayonnaise Man." The next day, after receiving more calls, she has a seizure. When she regains consciousness, the Mayonnaise Man is sitting on her sofa. His real name is Abraham Lincoln. Her head doesn't hurt for the first time in twenty years. She and Abraham have dinner, talk, have sex, conceive a child, fall in love, go to the Woodfield Mall outside Chicago and are joined by Abraham's mother, Oprah Winfrey, who, according to news reports, is believed to have been kidnapped. On their way back to Rockford, Oprah and her son make plans for a public reunion. To generate additional hype vis-a-vis the forthcoming show, Oprah is smuggled into the containment building of reactor Number Two at the Byron Nuclear Generating Plant. On their way back to Rockford, after making plans to move to Tennessee, Abraham and Giselle are stopped by a local Sheriff's Deputy. Abraham disappears. Giselle returns to her house, where she's joined by Abraham's associates, Rocco, Davis and Dow. The four of them watch saga of Oprah's "kidnapping" unfold on TV...and the rest gets way too tricky to try to get into in a synopsis.
If I had to come up with a genre, I'd call it literary fiction, but OPRAH'S DEAD SON may also be described as a psychological, sexual, political, spiritual thriller, with overtones of fantastic realism and undertones of Alice in Wonderland and The Taming of the Shrew. It's a smart, exciting, funny book...all 110,000 carefully crafted words. It's a chick book. It's a guy book. It's a rich, intriguing, satisfying, easily accessible, page turner which will be enjoyed by anyone who likes to read. People a hundred years from now will still be reading it, although not many of them will have a clue who some chick named Oprah Winfrey was. Ah, posterity!
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