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May 11, 2008

My poor stupid Oprah book isn't ever gonna get done. The latest thing I'm calling it is Oprah's Dead Son. Maybe I'll make it a pome, instead. All advertising is spam. Here's Ginny Good in its entirety:

http://everyonewhosanyone.com/ggsyn1.html

Here are some sample chapters from The Audio Book of Ginny Good.

Chapter 7: North Beach, New Year's Eve, 1962
http://everyonewhosanyone.com/audio/GGch07m.mp3

Chapter 13: San Francisco, Tijuana, Mississippi, New York, Summer, 1964
http://everyonewhosanyone.com/audio/GGch13m.mp3

Chapter 19: La Honda, May, 1965
http://everyonewhosanyone.com/audio/GGch19m.mp3

Chapter 23: Haight-Ashbury, Fall, 1967, Part 1
http://everyonewhosanyone.com/audio/GGch23m.mp3

Chapter 24: Haight-Ashbury, Fall, 1967, Part 2
http://everyonewhosanyone.com/audio/GGch24m.mp3

Chapter 32: Hillsborough, CA, Summer, 1982
http://everyonewhosanyone.com/audio/GGch32m.mp3

Chapter 35: Ashland, OR, February, 2003
http://everyonewhosanyone.com/audio/GGch35m.mp3

Here's the index to the audio book:

http://everyonewhosanyone.com/ggsyn.html

If you want a copy of the whole huge fifteen-hour extravaganza on .mp3 CDs for free, give me an address and I'll send you a copy. There's a bunch of other stuff on my little website, too. Click some links and see. Thanks. G.

Gerard Jones
everyone@everyonewhosanyone.com
http://www.everyonewhosanyone.com

"...they'll have me whipped for speaking true, thou'lt
have me whipped for lying; and sometimes I am
whipped for holding my peace. I had rather be any
kind o' thing than a fool: and yet I would not be
thee, nuncle..."

December 4, 2005

...continued from Give Me Money...Don't worry if you don't get many responses and don't count on getting many favorable responses, but all you need is one. Agents, editors and publishers are generally pretty self-satisfied and dismissive. Don't take it personally. Publishing is a business. Businesses need to make money or they go out of business. The business of publishing needs "product," however. That's where writers come in. Let them see what you've got. Give them a shot. All they can do is say yes or no or nothing. Count on nothing. Tell the truth as best you know it. Those who have ears will hear. Crack yourself up. Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke. And after you've tried all three or four thousand agents, editors and publishers on this little list, try them all again. It's a crapshoot.

When you get down in the dumps from getting dissed and dissed and dissed again, go to any of other websites in this directory and see what other writer's resources there are. There's all sorts of useful, uplifting advice and "success" stories. I don't have any, myself, but they're out there. When all else fails, write another book and start the process all over again. Or do something entirely different. G.

The formula for getting a good agent or a good publisher is simple. Good agents and good publishers don't charge up front fees, period. A good agent will recoup reasonable expenses out of his or her clients' advances after the sale of the book. That's standard and reasonable. If your agent doesn't sell your work, he or she eats the expenses incurred while trying to sell it. Get that language into any agency agreement you sign. If an agent doesn't have enough confidence in your work to take the chance that they're gonna have to eat their expenses if they can't sell it, they don't have enough confidence in your work to try to sell it in the first place.

There are exceptions. If you hit it off with an agent or a publisher and he or she is just starting out and your book can benefit from some editing or some reasonable expenses that may need to be incurred in the process of getting it published—and you trust each other—work with each other. Even Binky was once a little girl, too. The main thing you have to worry about getting from an agent or a publisher is his or her unqualified enthusiasm for your work. If you've got more money than the agent or publisher, give him or her some if you want to. That's usually not the case, however, so if you have any doubts whatsoever about an agent or publisher, DON'T SIGN A CONTRACT. If you want to see a bunch of horror stories about scam-artist agents and publishers here are a few places you can look:

http://www.writers.net/forum

http://www.anotherealm.com/prededitors

http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums

http://www.sfwa.org/beware

I make a point of saying that if anyone knows of any schlock agents on my little list, let me know and I'll get rid of 'em. I've gotten rid of a bunch. It'd like to have this directory include the best literary agents, editors and publishers there are, listed generally in order of how good they are, how successful, how ethical, etc. If they're schlock agents, I don't want 'em on my list. How simple is that? That does not, however, mean that if an agent, editor or publisher is NOT on my little list they ARE a schlock agent, editor or publisher. I discuss my criteria for inclusion and exclusion in the About This Directory section (toward the bottom):

So my question is, I suppose, that after your long struggles with trying to get people to see the beauty of your works that have come from the art inside you, would you consider it worthwhile, if you were a young man again, to still choose writing as your main focus in life? Would you write something more mainstream just to have easier access to agents and publishers? These are the questions that I'm entertaining as I've thinking on what writing project I'll jump into next. Thanks for any advice, and sorry if this it too serious.

Wait a minute, what do you mean if I were a young man again? Sheesh. No it's not too serious. Be who you are and do what you want to do is the short answer. I only wrote stuff 'cause the chicks I always had the hots for generally, to a greater or lesser degree, had the hots for guys who wrote stuff—there were other considerations in the mix, of course, but the way I wooed a chick was by writing stuff. The cooler the chick the better the stuff I wrote had to be. It didn't necessarily matter that there was any kind of mass market appeal for the stuff I wrote as long as the chick I wanted to like me liked it. Actually, the chicks I liked barfed all over books with any kind of mass market appeal so that was all she wrote for my "career" as a writer.

What people at their core want to do is make love, love someone who loves you and spend as much time as you possibly can making love with each other. Appealing to who you want to appeal to is what you want to do and that becomes a totally individual thing. Guys are all different. Chicks are all different. Some chicks wanna mess with Woody Allen. Some chicks wanna mess with Stephen King. Some chicks wanna mess with Kobe Bryant. I wanna mess with Eminem, myself, but I'm pretty sure that's just a passing fancy. Be who the chicks you wanna mess with wanna mess with. You wanna mess with a chick who wants to mess with Stephen King, write yourself some goofy vampire, howling wolf, cemetery bullshit. You wanna mess with a chick who wants to hang out at Hollywood parties, write some schlock Grisham horseshit. You wanna mess with some arty chick, write some Henry Miller stuff no one but she will ever read. If you just want to make money, write advertising copy or scripts about being dumber than dumb.

You are not ever in a million years gonna have a "career" as a novelist. Nobody has ever had a career as a novelist. There is no such career. Write books if you want to, sure, and if people want to read the books you want to write there are plenty of agents, editors and publishers looking for books they can make money buying and selling. That part of it is total happenstance; getting yourself in the right place at the right time. With a big advertising budget the most putrid piles of horseshit ever put down on paper can be "best sellers" overnight—go take a look at the New York Times list.

Agents, editors and publishers for the most part want to make money, period. Schlock sells. But it has to be genuine schlock. You can't fake it. Stephen King truly believes he's a good writer, that the horsepiss he writes is worth writing and reading. Ha! So do romance novelists and mystery guys and thriller guys and even "literary" guys. It's the job of agents and editors to determine what's gonna sell and genuine schlock sells. The criteria for good writing among agents, editors and publishers is whether it makes money or not...period, end of story, bottom line. Every now and then purely accidentally a piece of decent writing will make some money. Somebody told me that Eggers guy wrote a decent book. There's a guy named Earley somebody else said can write all right. Other people like what some chick named ZZ Packer writes but I think that's mainly 'cause she's a babe.

To my knowledge there hasn't been a good writer who's made any money since guys like Bellow and Updike and Malamud and Pynchon--Flannery O'Connor, Philip Roth, Joseph Heller, John Gardner, Salinger, Truman Capote (whose In Cold Blood is the same "genre" as Ginny Good, i.e., a nonfiction novel, by the way), those kinds of guys--but I admit I haven't read a book in awhile.

The best thing you can ever hope to achieve by writing stuff is confidence. The better the stuff you write is, the more confidence you're gonna get. Chicks like that, too—confidence, self-respect, self-esteem, all that nonsense—but you can't fake it. However you get it, that's what you want. If money gives you confidence, make lots of money. If writing good stuff gives you confidence, write good stuff. If writing shit that appeals to the demographic some marketing guy determines will buy gives you confidence, write that crap.

You're a young guy, what you wanna write might just totally fit the right niche. Wrtie it and see, that's what I say. Does that answer your question? G.

Gerard, This is a great site. I'm trying to get my first novel published. Any tips on the letter that I will send to Agents?

Keep it short. I've been doing this long enough to know that no literary agent, editor or publisher can write a book, that they're dealers, marketers, advertisers, schmoozers, hype-meisters, that's it. How someone who makes the commodity can get intimidated by the guys who hype it I don't quite get. Kafka sold one story in his life. I wonder who his agent was? A good agent or editor knows who's the boss. You are. You're the writer. You're his or her client. He or she works for you. You don't go with your hat in your hand to get someone to work for you, do you? You let 'em know you're hiring, if they're looking for the kind of work you have to offer, they'll come to work for you and be glad you thought enough of 'em to give 'em the job. Ah, pomposity. Good luck. Getting a book published is hard to do. Getting anyone to read it after it's published is even harder...unless it really sucks, then it's easy to get people to read it. Thanks. G.

Hello, I don't know the number of e-mails you receive (how could I, that'd be impossible), but this one is going to be part praise, part inquisitive. I should think that you, being a person who sends out what appears to be dozens of e-mails, will understand how generally pleasant it is to have somebody read and respond to a correspondence, especially if they seem far away. Plus the fact that it's four in the morning should, I hope, prove that I'm not dicking around, even if I am in pajamas.

Basically, your website is fantastic. I can't even remember how I found it, but I never thought typing random search phrases into Google would give me such an accurate result of what it was I wanted to see. I'm not going to dick around and pretend I've read your stuff; I haven't — yet. If nothing else it's your anarchy to a (nother) system designed to be filled with bullshit which appeals to me. Actually, it's your successes with anarchy towards the system.

I need to write. I've written, but I need to get published so I can feel some sense of self-validation (and to shave this beard off my face; a stupid personal bet). If I told how you young I was, you'd might laugh and say I've got all the time in the world to get something out there. Utterly disappointed with the undergraduate University process, I cannot see myself doing all that over again for a graduate degree — finding myself near broke, with a lambskin degree that should assure people that I'm not crazy, and an even more disillusioned sense of the world.

I guess, the one thing I cannot figure out from your site, and the one thing I'm curious about, is if you ever got an agent, a "peddler" like you say, or whether your constant persistence to go one-on-one with publishers ever got through. I'm sorry if this information is available and I just haven't found it, but on the other hand, I'm not, because I want to hear directly from you. And I realize (as you must) that your story is one in a million, and your success at publication is one in a hundred million, but I'll take those odds. Is it worth it to submit to a hundred agents and publications at once? What the hell am I doing, exactly?

I have an agent, yeah, but she's pissed at me for calling Nazis Nazis. You don't want "self" validation you want recognition by the twits who run the media and entertainment industries. They'll generate publicity. You'll get rich, you'll get famous and what you write won't be worth having written. What the hell you are doing exactly is trying to please people who are only pleased by making money for themselves and their employers. Money isn't everything, it's the only thing. If that's what you think, too, keep trying. If not, please yourself. Thanks. G.

September 1, 2007

The Naughty American

December 4, 2005

New York Times Book Review
The Widening Web of Digital Lit
By DAVID ORR
Published: October 3, 2004.

Everyone Who's Anyone in Adult Trade Publishing (www.everyonewhosanyone.com): One of the great treasures of the Web, this site is a listing of every agent and publisher the writer Gerard Jones contacted in his quest to get his various manuscripts published -- in other words, everyone who's anyone. Jones has reproduced many of his e-mail exchanges with his targets verbatim, which in some cases makes the publishing community look like decent, sensitive people doing the best work they can in a difficult field (here's to you, Daniel Menaker!). Other times, not so much. Either way, the site will tell you more about the book world than any five ''How-to-Publish'' treatises combined.

William McCranor Henderson

Everyone Who's Anyone is a gonzo maverick site that is actually one of the most fascinating, idiosyncratic bursts of common genius to come across the Internet yet. Webmaster Gerard Jones, himself an aspiring author, was going through the arduous process of submitting his own manuscripts when he decided to launch a website that would list full contact information for every agent and editor in the English-speaking world. He was audacious enough to include their e-mail addresses, which irritated those who would rather operate beneath the radar, and when some of them e-mailed back telling him not to list them, he did it anyway, and posted the correspondence. Jones also published his rejection notices, some of which he replied to, resulting in some entertaining back-and-forth exchanges which pull back the veil on this most mysterious professional world.

Why is this site essential? Because it (a) lists every agent's e-mail address (many other sites don't); (b) shines a light on the human component of the business (the good, the bad, and the ugly); and (c) offers a real-life education in the kinds of communications you should expect to have with agents, as you start your own quest. Not that you should get into e-mail spats with agents, as Jones sometimes does.

He is a salty, irrepressible, character, who can't resist calling a spade a spade; and his language crackles with an absolute sense of who he is, what he's doing, and a Quixotic (but usually correct) view of how the world ought to be.

(Now, a year after that was written, Jones has announced he has an agent and a publishing deal—and posted his acceptance letter.)

******

Guest Column, MobyLives

http://www.mobylives.com/Jones_EWA.html

******

From The Literary Saloon, the literary weblog at The Complete Review—opinionated commentary on literary matters:

"Many authors desperately do want to sell out (to publishers, via agents), and as we mentioned weeks ago:

http://www.complete-review.com/saloon/archive/200209c.htm#ak7

Gerard Jones' Everyone Who's Anyone in Adult Trade Publishing is a marvelous resource to help them. It is an impressive list of agent and editor contact addresses and e-mails—information many of these people don't want you (insofar as you are a budding (or fully flowering) author) to have.

There have been a few reports about the site (and the consequences of this information becoming public)—including this long report by Brian L. Dear at Nettle (recommended)—,

http://www.nettle.com/ewa1.html

but The New York Observer is one of the few mainstream press outlets that have devoted much space to it—in Rebecca Traister's Represent Me or Die (14 October).

http://www.observer.com/pages/story.asp?ID=6421

She has some agent/editor reactions—here's hoping the chaos continues!

The Ottawa Citizen
Sunday, February 8, 2004

Between the Lines: everyonewhosanyone.com: A struggling writer hoists the flag...for struggling writers

By James Macgowan

This one is for all the struggling writers out there: Struggling writers, I'd like you to meet Gerard Jones, professional struggling writer, curmudgeon and the bane of every literary agent's existence. The proof of this can be seen in his delightfully entertaining website in which — now this is something you unpublished book writers will find enormously helpful, so pay attention — he lists the e-mail address of anyone and everyone you could possible want in order to get your masterpiece in print everyonewhosanyone.com). And yes, though he resides in Ashland, Oregon, he has the Canadian market covered as well. OK, OK, he put Canada in as an afterthought, but what the heck, at least we're there and you can send your polished masterpiece to a homegrown literary agent.

Not that they like being listed. I recall once, long ago, in a newsroom far away, a conversation concerning a big Canadian literary agent. A woman in the newsroom had her e-mail address, but refused to give it to a colleague for a story. Instead, she agreed to contact the agent herself and get the necessary information. Kind of silly, given that reporters generally have all kinds of private phone numbers and addresses that they don't share with the general public.

Anyway, in the spirit of this website, here is the once ultra-secret Denise Bukowski's e-mail address: denise@thebukowskiagency.com. Or maybe it was Anne McDermid? anne@mcdermidagency.com. Either way, there you go, though you're still hardly likely to elicit a response.

So who is this Gerard Jones, you ask? Is he a champion of downtrodden writers everywhere, who one day exploded and vowed to get even by listing the addresses of all those who ever wronged him on his way to becoming a published writer? Uh, no. He's an articulate, cheerful sounding 61-year-old, full-time writer who has dabbled in various careers and whose only interest when he created the site in August, 2002, was his own.

"I did it purely for my own personal, utilitarian reasons," he says over the phone, adding that he needed all these addresses for his own query letters. "I don't care about the masses at all. I care about myself, period. I do it for my own enjoyment. I totally crack myself up, I do. It makes me laugh. I mean, that's why I write stuff in the first place."

Sure, OK, but he also had a bunch of rejection letters, along with his responses that somehow elicited a correspondence, and he thought these would prove educational for would-be writers by giving them an idea of how hard it is to get published, though his first novel, Ginny Good, has finally found a publisher and is going to be released in April. (You can read what it's about on his site.) Some of this correspondence is hilarious, some quite testy. For instance, he calls one agent a f------ c---. Not once, not twice, but five times.

Isn't that, you know, rather excessive?

"He asked me to send him a manuscript," Jones responds. "I spent $50 printing it, copying it and sending it to him, and that's the last I heard about it. I sent him three or four polite e-mails saying 'Yo, what's up with my manuscript? ... Hey, come on man, send me back my manuscript if you don't want it, say it sucks, that's cool' — no answer. I mean, just this cold ignorance of the politeness of returning something that you asked for is a little irksome to me. So I called the guy a c---. Big deal. He is."

It may not read that way, but Jones is laughing as he says all this. He laughs a lot. For a struggling writer he's a pretty happy fellow. Maybe he's medicated. Who knows? But he sure is having a good time. And it's not like he's completely evil to agents and editors. If someone requests their e-mail correspondence not be put up on his site, he will honour the request, though you usually can get an idea of what they wrote by reading his response, which he will never take down, not for anyone.

"I will also gladly correct any inaccurate information," he says on his website. "I will not, however, remove the names or e-mail addresses of people who merely consider themselves too hoity-toity to be bothered with writers."

With all this good-natured vitriol, you wonder if Jones has angered those whose favour he may need most.

"Well, since they're not buying my stuff anyway, what are they gonna do, not buy my stuff? When you got nothing you got nothing to lose. But, more to the point, I think there's an 'underdog' mentality, the whole David and Goliath syndrome, that might work in my favour. There's always some rogue editor in the most staid of publishing companies who might think he or she can make money from the notoriety of the website if not from the excellence of the work. People buy hype, they don't buy books."

Besides, he says, this is all public knowledge. "I found all these e-mail addresses, all these websites, on search engines. I mean, they're not really disguised or anything like that. I just put them all in one convenient location. And since it's free, since nobody's publishing it, since I'm not getting any money for it, there's not really anything for anyone to sue me about."

Not that he has any money. He lives with his 86-year-old mother in her paid-for house, and lives off the kindness of e-mail donations for both his site and his new book. So, basically, he's judgment proof, like most writers not named Ondaatje or Atwood.


The Bookseller
The Fine Art of the Effusive Rejection

http://www.thebookseller.com

Gerard Jones has devised a new kind of service for aspiring writers. Not only does he give you the addresses, telephone numbers and e-mail addresses of literary agents and publishers, he also offers you a sample of the kinds of rejection letters you might expect from them.

You might be attracted to, for example, the kindly style of Simon Prosser: "Sadly, (your novel) doesn't look quite right for the Hamish Hamilton list, but I'd definitely show it to other editors." Or to the similarly generous Alan Samson at Time Warner: "I doubt we could do justice to the novel in a way that would match your expectations." Or the more bracing approach of Barbara Boote at Time Warner might be more to your taste: "I just didn't like it--but hope you find a publisher over here who feels differently."

I discovered Mr Jones and his website thanks to Anne Weale, a.k.a. The Organ's Bookworm on the Internet. She had read about him in the New York Observer, which said that his site "has New York's literary types bedevilled and amused".

Mr. Jones introduces himself with these words: "My name is Gerard Jones. There's another Gerard Jones. I'm not him." Having cleared that up, he goes on to explain that, following a history of dealing with agents and editors over his unpublished writings, he conceived the idea of building a site containing information about significant companies in the industry, "if for no other reason than to share with other writers how difficult it is to find a good agent or get a good book published".

Mr Jones' manuscripts are entitled Ginny Good and Astral Weekend. In the US, Daniel Menaker at HarperCollins was among the kindly editors, commenting on the "absolutely wonderful" material in Astral Weekend. But Mr Jones would have preferred a more direct approach: "Dear Dan," he wrote, "I got your note. The only parts I understood were the parts about how wonderful it was. You lost me when you had to resort to combining jazz ostinatos with subatomic particle theory in order to explain why you're not going to publish the son of a bitch. Gary Fisketjon [of Knopf] dissed my ass too, but with considerably less effusiveness."

All this entertainment is free, although you can send Mr. Jones payment, through the Amazon.com "Honor" system. There are more than 1,200 e-mail addresses and websites on everyonewhosanyone.com; they include those of people, such as Jessica Sykes of ICM, who have asked to be removed. "I will...gladly correct any inaccurate information," Mr Jones explains. "I will not, however, remove the names or e-mail addresses of people who merely consider themselves too hoity-toity to be bothered with writers."

Even more everyonewhosanyone:

http://www.thebookseller.com/?pid=43&did=8160

Horace Bent
bent@bookseller.co.uk

The Writer's Guild of Great Britain
Link of the Month: December 2002-March 2003

http://www.writersguild.org.uk

Gerard Jones has set up a web-site that is rapidly changing the lives of agents, publishers and editors in the UK, USA and Canada. He gives the names, addresses, e-mails, telephone numbers and website addresses of all the significant people in the industry.

He set up his website as a free service to fellow writers wanting to get their books published "if for no other reason than to share with other writers how difficult it is to find a good agent or get a good book published."

He has no sympathy for the people who have asked him to remove their details from the site. "I will gladly correct any inaccurate information but I will not remove the names or e-mail addresses of people who merely consider themselves too hoity-toity to be bothered with writers."

Worth clicking on to just for the hilarious collection of rejection letters he has collected over the years.

Book Stuff

http://www.ronlyndomingue.com/writers.htm

(A nice job of showing people how to gat a book published.)

http://mobylives.com

http://nettle.com

(Best review of EWA ever and Brian Dear did it a million years ago, when nobody knew diddly about it.)

http://www.identitytheory.com

http://www.bookwire.com

(Click on Agents & Editors under Useful Resouces in the left column and you come up with me. Yippee!)

http://www.complete-review.com

(Les plus cool de le cool.)

http://www.rimbaud.org.uk/main.html

(A guy named Dee Rimbaud has an informative site and seems to be doing something similar to what I'm doing but he's way less self-absorbed and probably a lot nicer than me.)

http://www.squidoo.com/writers-reference

http://www.book2book.co.uk

(EWA listed under "essential links" in this really extra super useful jam-packed site.)

http://www.ip3.org.uk

(Not sure what these guys do, exactly, but anyone who says the publishing industry is a idiot is okay by me.)

http://www.lizzymorrow.org

(See interview with me: Columns)

http://www.edrants.com

http://www.themorningnews.org

(Calls my innocent little website, quote: "...the be-all crazed-psycho list of literary agents and publishers." Pfssh. G.)

http://www.theoldhag.com

http://maudnewton.com

http://sarahweinman.blogspot.com

http://www.riverwindspublishing.com/toolkit.html

http://grumpyoldbookman.blogspot.com

http://www.writers-free-reference.com

http://www.thebookseller.com

http://www.goodreports.net

http://bookcircuit.com

http://www.jimcohn.com

(See pitcher of me took in 1987 when I was half asleep and still smoked at Jim's site. G.)

http://www.independentpublisher.com

http://mthollywood.blogspot.com

(Me and this guy was in a fite but I think he's coming around to my way of thinking, i.e., the right way of thinking. Go see June of 2004.)

http://www.oregonlive.com/weblogs/papertrail

http://www.poemsinthedark.com

http://www.bksp.org

http://www.robynschneider.com/correspondences

http://www.johnravenscroft.co.uk

http://www.matyadio.com

http://www.crowswingbooks.co.uk/15420.html

(Things to do while waiting for your book to come out.)

http://mockingbird.creighton.edu/NCW/resource.htm

http://donswaim.com/buckswriters.html

http://mississippireview.com/index.htm

http://www.timbermedia.com/links.html

http://www.publishing-services.co.uk

http://www.poewar.com

Alexis E. Santi
http://www.ourstories.us

Random sample of writers' websites:

tamarahenry.blogspot.com

Gerald Patrick Murphy

http://www.auntielists.com

http://www.LuboDobrev.com

http://www.kevinwong.ca

Kerry Zukus


Movie Stuff

http://www.exploretalent.com


Media Stuff

http://www.pressreleaseshq.com

(Pretty slick PR site.)

http://www.nationalfreepress.org

(This place goes to a lot of trouble to really be free...yippee!)


Audio Book Stuff

http://www.best-audiobook-store.com

http://www.best-audiobook-store.com/partners.html

Gerard: You are a great man. Some of us take the trouble to collect data and write just because it is fun. Make my day and put me on your list. Thanks, Christopher Whalen

http://www.rcwhalen.com

Okay, but you're gonna need a whole new category I haven't figured out yet. Here's a risk analysis story for you. Thanks. G.

http://everyonewhosanyone.com/audio/GGch18m.mp3

I still don't understand what you're after, since I am not involved in the decision-making of publishing in any way. Thanks, George

You talk about books and therefore have some say in what gets read. You make hype. However minuscule your contribution may be, hype is hype. Great works of timeless literature don't get hyped and therefore don't get read; money-grubbing schlock and putrid, preposterous puke gets hyped up the wazoo and therefore DOES get read. Books are just a small part of the propaganda that keeps people stupid slaves, but every little bit helps. The rich get rich and the poor get poorer...in the meantime, in between time, ain't we got fun. I've made a preliminary list of 15,000 people who contribute to that sickening state of affairs. You're on it. People fifty years from now will know who the bad guys were. It's nothing personal. You don't know you're a brainwashed pawn any more than anyone else on my little list does. Thanks. G.

Oh, I get it now. You're insane and bitter and think you're doing something that matters by trying to hurt others. Okay, that's fine. I'll just mark your emails as spam so that the Gmail database will start sending them to everyone's junk mail folder. Sorry to have engaged you. Good luck with the whole misplaced anger-thing. George

Oh, I changed your e-mail to the one you wanted it to be, by the way, and won't be sending you any more e-mails. Think what you think you wanna think. Thanks. G.

podcasting baby podcasting. get the book up as podcast and I'll "read" it. Miss Snark

It is up on a podcast, baby. Here's the most grown-up chapter. Just click the sucker and it podcasts itself. G.

http://everyonewhosanyone.com/audio/GGch31m.mp3

Dear Mr. Jones: You've got the link to Writer Beware right...sort of. But www.writerbeware.com is much easier to remember, so I think you should change it. SFWA bought us our own domain. You DO know that we provide a free agent or publisher verification service, don't you? All they have to do is write to us at beware@sfwa.org Let me know if you need more information about Writer Beware. Perhaps you haven't been to the site lately. We're much more than a collection of "horror stories" these days. (Our new blog is packed with information for aspiring writers: www.accrispin.blogspot.com) Best, -Ann C. Crispin, Chair, Writer Beware

Oh, they kicked me out of there a long time ago for ragging on one of the scam artists you guys used as a reliable resource. I like your blog okay, though, and will stick in whatever links you think I should stick in. Thanks. Thanks. G.

Hi Gerard, Thanks for sending the announcement, which is without a doubt the funniest press release we've gotten to date. I gave you a shoutout on the blog section of the website. Hope your book starts selling more copies. All best, Bryan

Hey, Bryan, I lived in the lower Haight for awhile, and as for "football cheerleaders," pfssh, I smoked me a little bud with the best of 'em. Thanks. G.

http://everyonewhosanyone.com/audio/GGch22m.mp3

(@) = Not a corporate fascist. (Feel free to apply for non-corporate fascist status...simply tell me in fifty words or fewer why you think you're not a corporate fascist.)

(*) = E-mail bounced. Correct information much appreciated. In fact, anyone who knows anything I don't know, let me know.

(!) = E-mail blocked (just mine, not yours), probably 'cause the intended recipient and/or the company by which he or she is owned and operated is an extra brainwashed, super chicken, corporate fascist goon.

(666) = Asked not to be contacted (by me, not by you), very likely because he or she is a happy little slave boy or a happy little slave girl and doesn't want it any other way, uh-huh, uh-huh.

Gerard Jones
everyone@everyonewhosanyone.com