January 14, 2007
Some guy sent me an e-mail this morning that started out: "OK, you bastard, I've looked in at your website before and of course I was impressed by your lack of restraint. This time around, I stopped to read a few pages of your latest, the Oprah thing. Look, what sort of message do you think you're sending old guys like me who think they can write? If you can write like that, and not find a real publisher, where the hell do we get off?" He went on and on for awhile, then pointed out: "If you were selling a million copies a year right now, you wouldn't write as you do and we wouldn't have the benefit of it."
"Yeah," I told him. "'Failure' beats 'success' any day. If I were Dan Brown or Robert Stone I would long ago have choked to death on my own vomit." Then I told him some other things:
"A bunch of stuff worth reading and writing gets written but not read 'cause people only read what gets hyped and what gets hyped is nothing but sickeningly stupid, money-grubbing schlock, fatuous political folderol and celebrity twaddle."
"I'm perfectly happy with the design and production of the book Monkfish made out of Ginny Good. They did distribution and a little publicity, too, but the main thing I'm happy about is that it got published exactly the way I wanted it published."
"I thought it would sell more copies than it did, but I learned a lot by it not having sold many copies...things like, 'Lord, what fools these mortals be!'"
"The free fifteen hour audio book I produced all on my own is the best, most authentic, new work of literary art ever made. I don't have anything else to prove. Nobody but me is ever gonna listen to the sucker, but so what?"
"The Oprah book I'm still fiddling with and have no clue when it will be done. I'm a great believer in serendipity. Kismet, too. I took a writing class once. Here's a story about it."
I still haven't gotten the whole mess with my ISP not letting me send e-mail sorted out. Some bunch of secret, unidentified, undisclosed people falsely reported that I was sending "spam." That's a total crock. Those people, whoever they may be, are lying. They're defaming me and doing all kinds of other tortious stuff. They should be ashamed of themselves. I've never sent anyone an e-mail that wasn't implicitly or explicitly solicited, nor was it (or should it have been) unwanted. Naturally, if the moron who got the e-mail was too stupid for words, anything he or she sees is gonna look like spam, but whose fault is that? Not mine. The e-mails I send aren't commercial. They're not sent in any fraudulent or automated way. I've never sent an e-mail to anyone who has requested that I NOT send him or her an e-mail. The contents of any e-mail I've ever sent is flat-out truthful. I don't lie. Just 'cause some deceitful, money-grubbing twit who wouldn't know the truth if it bit him or her on the ass didn't bother to read it or didn't believe what my e-mail said, doesn't mean it's not true. I only send e-mails to professional, commercial, corporate, publicly advertised e-mail addresses and I've never sent more than two or three e-mails to any one person during the course of at least a yearusually less frequently than that 'cause I've got other more worthwhile fish to fry.
So why does my ISP keep blocking my outgoing e-mail? They get secret, lying, tortious complaints from secret, lying, chicken-hearted twits who think ignorance is bliss, that's why. Besides, my e-mail address is blacklisted by most every media and entertainment outlet in the US, UK and Canada, anyway. I could use a different e-mail account and send stuff from the library or from some other computer in case the poor, insecure little darlings have my IP blocked. They probably do. The giddy, giggly, superfluous, snippy twits on my little lists will go to any lengths to keep everyone else as ignorant as they are...and that's the truth. Oh, well. Whether I want to keep trying to enlighten them or not, I haven't made up my mind yet. G.