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August 24, 2008

Here's an excerpt from the latest chapter I've been fiddling with of Oprah's Dead Son. Don't count on ever seeing it in print 'cause the only books you're ever gonna see in print are moneygrubbing bullshit books written by moneygrubbing bullshit writers, doctored-up by moneygrubbing bullshit agents, published by moneygrubbing bullshit publishers and promoted by moneygrubbing bullshit media dweebs. Oh, in case anyone thinks the excerpt sounds "anti-Semitic," keep in mind it's fiction and that characters in novels say all sorts of silly things:

OPRAH'S DEAD SON Chapter Forty-one (excerpt) "How do you know what we got Oprah down here to get to?" the old guy asks. "I know things I don't know I know," Isaac says, staring up at the dark, cherry-stained oak beams crisscrossing the white ceiling. "Do you know that your grandfather's ill-considered, anti-Semitic screeds creep me out?" Oprah asks sweetly. "He gets a little shrill, I agree." Isaac turns onto his side, props the side of his chin in his hand and shoots a sympathetic look toward his grandmother. He seems to have grown. His voice seems to have changed, too; it's deeper, more confident. He's become a thoughtful, clever kid right in front of Giselle's eyes. It's not even odd anymore that he can talk, he could more than likely walk on water if he wanted to. "Shrill?" The old guy's eyes widen. "Ill-considered? It was Isaac who called Jews the new Nazis—I'm defending them. I'm pro-Semitic. I'm saying rich guys are the new Nazis and that Jews just do their propaganda for them." "What about rich Jews?" Isaac asks. "Oh, sure. Rich Jews are the prototypical new Nazis, but there are twice as many new non-Jewish Nazis as there are new Nazi Jews." "I'm sure glad we got that cleared up," Oprah says. "As well you should be," the old guy goes on, undaunted by her obvious sarcasm. "Calling a Nazi a Nazi is the exact opposite of anti-Semitism, and any Jew worth his or her salt ought to be doing the same thing. Never again, ha! You say you don't want another Holocaust, you say you don't want another Hitler or Stalin or Mao, so what do you do? Go find yourselves a bunch of Nazi billionaires and carve out a lucrative little monopoly doing their propaganda for them? These new Nazis can buy any government in the world. They can make whatever laws they want to make, raise whatever armies, build whatever prisons and, thanks to Jews and guys who kiss up to Jews in media and entertainment, they can get people to do and say and think and buy any kind of cockamamie crap they want them to do or say or think or buy. Talk about a thief in the night, yikes, you're gonna wake up one morning and find that nothing but guys who run Nazi conglomerates and the Jews and guys who kiss up to Jews who do their propaganda for them have inherited the earth." Read the previous two chapter here. Or not.

If you wanna listen to some sample chapters from The Audio Book of Ginny Good, click this:

http://everyonewhosanyone.com/ggsyn.html

Here's the real book of Ginny Good in its entirety for free (everything I do is free):

http://everyonewhosanyone.com/ggsyn1.html

If you want a copy of the whole huge fifteen-hour audio book extravaganza on .mp3 CDs, give me an address and I'll send you a copy. There's a bunch of other stuff on my little website, too. Click some links and see. Thanks. G.

Gerard Jones
everyone@everyonewhosanyone.com
http://www.everyonewhosanyone.com

"...they'll have me whipped for speaking true, thou'lt
have me whipped for lying; and sometimes I am
whipped for holding my peace. I had rather be any
kind o' thing than a fool: and yet I would not be
thee, nuncle..."

The Saul Zaentz Company
2600 Tenth Street
Berkeley, CA 94710-2522
(510) 549-1528

http://www.zaentz.com

The Coppola Companies
PO Box 208
1991 St. Helena Hwy.
Rutherford, CA 94573
(707) 968-1100

(American Zoetrope)

American Zoetrope
916 Kearny St.
San Francisco CA 94133
(415) 788-7500

6747 Milner Rd.
Los Angeles, CA 90068
(323) 851-8808

808 Wilshire Blvd., 3rd Flr.
Santa Monica, CA 90401
(310) 899-8000

1350 Avenue of the Americas, 24th Flr.
New York NY 10019

(F. R. Productions)

http://www.zoetrope.com

Cappa Productions
445 Park Ave., 7th Flr.
New York, NY 10022
(212) 906-8800

Samuel Goldwyn Films
9570 W. Pico Blvd., Ste. 400
Los Angeles, CA 90035
(310) 860-3100

1888 Century Park East., 5th Flr.
Los Angeles, CA 90067

1133 Broadway, Ste. 926
New York, NY 10010
(212) 367-9435

Icon Productions, Inc.
808 Wilshire Blvd., 4th Flr.
Santa Monica, CA 90401
(310) 434-7300

The Quadrangle, 4th Floor
180 Wardour Street
London W1F 8FX
44-207-494-8100

http://www.iconmovies.com

Wingnut Films, Ltd.
PO Box 15208
Miramar
Wellington 6003
New Zealand

8942 Wilshire Blvd., Ste. 219
Beverly Hills CA 90211

Weta Digital Ltd.
P.O. Box 15208
9-11 Manuka Street
Miramar, Wellington
New Zealand 6003

http://www.wetadigital.com

Baltimore Pictures
8306 Wilshire Blvd., PMB 1012
Beverly Hills, CA 90211
(310) 234-8988

Levinson/Fontana Company
185 Broome St.
New York, NY 10002
(212) 206-3585

http://www.levinson.com

Tribeca Productions
375 Greenwich Street
New York, NY 10013
(212) 941-3889

http://www.tribecafilm.com

Mr. Mudd
Smith-Malkovich
5225 Wilshire Blvd., Ste. 604
Los Angeles, CA 90036
(323) 932-5656

http://www.mrmudd.com

If I ever want an abusive email, I'll know where to go. But I don't.

I also sent you stuff about a book you should read. You had something to do with "How to Draw a Bunny" and ought therefore to have some sense of humor, art and curiosity. Ginny Good. Remember that name. It's a book out of which a great movie's gonna be made. Thanks. G.

Hello, On your site you have several e-mail addresses for Mr. Mudd employees listed including Lianne Halfon. Please take these e-mail addresses off your site immediately. Ms. Halfon and staff has been receiving numerous unsolicited e-mails and it must stop immediately. Thank you.

I prefer not to. Hey, since you guys are thinking about making a movie out of the novel "Dear Mr. Capote," tell Lianne here's a little story about Gordon Lish she might like...Chapter Eight. Thanks. G.

http://everyonewhosanyone.com/ggsyn2.html

I don't know the backstory of the link you sent me but I will not be sending it to Ms. Halfon. I hope that you take down the information, the unsolicited e-mails she receives from it are not getting read anyway. Thank you.

According to an article on your website, you guys might be making a movie out of "Dear Mr. Capote" by Gordon Lish...the link I sent you is to a story about what he was doing in 1963. Don't send it to Ms. Halfon. Ignorance is bliss. Don't give her the audio link to the greatest single chapter ever made in all world literature, either...for the same reason. Thanks. G.

http://everyonewhosanyone.com/audio/GGch19m.mp3

Infinitum Nihil
c/o The Management Group
9100 Wilshire Blvd., Ste. 725-E
Beverly Hills, CA 90212
(310) 271-0300

http://www.infinitumnihil.com

Ghost House Pictures
315 S. Beverly Drive, Ste. 216
Beverly Hills, CA 90212
(310) 785-3900

http://www.ghosthousepictures.com

Florentine Films
PO Box 613
Walpole, NH 03608
(603) 756-3038

http://www.florentinefilms.com

Ascendant Pictures
9350 Civic Center Dr., Ste. 110
Beverly Hills, CA 90210
(310) 288-4600

http://www.ascendantpictures.com

Sundance Institute
8530 Wilshire Blvd., 3rd Flr.
Beverly Hills, CA 90211
(310) 360-1981

http://www.sundance.org

Hi Gerard! My name's Mike Mohan, and I see that my contact information is listed under Independent Movie Production Companies. Unfortunately the Sundance Institute is not a production company. We do not buy or license screenplays, books, or pitches. We do have a screenwriters lab, that people can apply for through our website. And we do have a film festival, that people with finished films can submit their work for. (as well as documentary, theatre, and film music programs)

I've been getting quite a few very well written query emails lately from people who have found my contact info on your website-- I feel bad for them simply because we aren't a production company, and I can't help them with what they are looking for.

If you could please take my and Michelle Satter's emails off of your site, that would be great. I'd be happy to answer any questions you might have. Thanks so much! Mike Mohan

Hey, Mike, I include all kinds of people besides film producers on my little list...publicists, agents, managers, studios, etc., twenty thousand or so, but your e-mail should make it clear that you're not a production company. I've also got a link to the sundance.org website which people ought to find of some value even though you don't buy or license screenplays, books or pitches. Thanks. G.

Punch Productions
11661 San Vincente Blvd., Suite 222
Los Angeles, CA 90049
(310) 442-4888

1926 Broadway, Ste. 305
New York, NY 10023
(212) 595-8800

New Crime Productions
555 Rose Ave.
Venice, CA 90291
(310) 396-2199

http://www.cusack101.com

Green Moon Productions
11718 Barrington Ct. Ste. 827
Los Angeles, CA 90049
(310) 471-8800

http://www.melaniegriffith.com

Blue Wolf Productions
PO Box 210520
San Francisco, CA 94121
(415) 668-6900

Newmarket Films
202 N. Canon Dr.
Beverly Hills, CA 90210
(310) 858-7472

597 5th Ave., 7th Flr.
New York, NY 10017
(212) 303-1700

http://www.newmarketfilms.com

Live Planet
2644 30th Street, Ste. 101
Santa Monica, CA 90405
(310) 664-2400

http://www.liveplanet.com

Reason Pictures
9155 W. Sunset Blvd
West Hollywood, CA 90069
(310) 691-1020

Greenestreet Films
9 Desbrosses St., 2nd Flr.
New York, NY 10013
(212) 609-9000

(Grinning Dog Pictures, Trillium Productions)

http://www.greenestreetfilms.com

Maverick Films
9348 Civic Center Dr., Mezzanine
Beverly Hills, CA 90210
(310) 276-6177

http://www.maverickrecords.com

Perdido Productions
140 W. 57th St., Ste. 4-B
New York, NY 10019
(212) 582-9062

Meno Film Company
122 Hudson Street, 5th Floor
New York, NY 10013
(646) 613-1260

Ixtlan Productions
1207 4th Street, PH-1
Santa Monica, CA 90401
(310) 395-0525

Forty Acres & A Mule Film Works
124 Dekalb Avenue
Brooklyn, NY 11217
(718) 624-3703

Prospect Pictures
8332 Melrose Avenue
West Hollywood, CA 90069
(323) 653-9300

http://www.prospectpictures.com

Goat Cay Productions
P.O. Box 38
New York, NY 10150
(212) 421-8293

http://home.earthlink.net/~goatcay

The Goatsingers
177 W. Broadway, 2nd Flr.
New York, NY 10013
(212) 966-3045

Rainbow Film Company
Rainbow Releasing
9165 Sunset Blvd., Ste. 300
Los Angeles, CA 90069
(310) 271-0202

http://www.rainbowfilms.com

Shoreline Entertainment
1875 Century Park E., 6th Flr.
Los Angeles, CA 90067
(310) 551-2060

http://www.shorelineentertainment.com

Endgame Entertainment
1041 N. Formosa Ave
Administration Bldg., Ste. 195
West Hollywood, CA 90046
(323) 850-2747

http://www.endgameentertainment.com

Atmosphere Entertainment MM
9200 W. Sunset Blvd., 5th Flr.
Los Angeles, CA 90069
(310) 860-0310

http://www.atmospheremm.com

Merchant Ivory Productions
250 W. 57th St., Ste. 1825
New York, NY 10107
(212) 582-8049

http://www.merchantivory.com

The Wheelhouse
15464 Ventura Blvd.
Sherman Oaks, CA 91403
(818) 461-3599

http://www.wheelhouseentertainment.com

***Redacted***

Hey, Jason, Ginny Good is not a script, it's a book, therefore it's not a "submission," per se. I don't even own the film rights, the publisher does. Go read it and you'll want to make a movie out of it, you'll see, I guarantee. Thanks. G. cc: Randall Wallace

***Redacted***

You mean you guys wrote "The Man in the Iron Mask" and "Braveheart?" Wow. You must be pretty old. Go read the book and develop it as in "inside" project; that's fine with me. Thanks. G.

***Redacted***

Oh, I do trust you. But you and I both know there are exceptions to every rule that's ever been made. Where do you think thin air comes from? Occasionally from serendipitous e-mails, that's where. Don't read the sucker, that's fine with me, too. I wrote it. That was all I wanted to do. It's the best book that's been published anywhere in the world thus far this century and if you want to go down in history as one of the people who blew the opportunity to make a movie out of it, that's your business. You sound like a pleasant enough fellow, notwithstanding. Thanks. G.

***Redacted***

Hey, Jason, I don't take anyone's contact information down. Call it a policy. I'll redact your portions of our e-mails 'cause you own the copyrights to your words fair and square. Everyone's got a no submission policy, are you kidding? Trust me. But the vast majority of people simply don't answer queries at all. You're an exceptional guy. I go through this a lot. I stick people on my little directory primarily to keep a record of the thousands of agents, managers, producers, studio guys, etc. who've dissed the best book that's been published in decades, a book that's eventually going to make the best movie that's been made in decades...it gives me great personal satisfaction, gives posterity a little insight into how closed-minded and unimaginative movie guys were back at the turn of the century and who knows, if you look wrong enough long enough, your policy may someday change. Thanks. G.

RKO Pictures
1875 Century Park E., Ste. 2140
Los Angeles, CA 90067
(310) 277-0707

3 E. 54th St., 12th Flr.
New York, NY 10022

http://www.rko.com

David E. Kelley Productions
1600 Rosecrans Ave., Bldg. 4B
Manhattan Beach, CA 90266
(310) 727-2200

http://www.youstinka.com

***Redacted***

Dear Ms. Veronica Wilson: I don't know about you, but I live in the good old US of A; free speech, freedom of the press, prohibitions against restraint of trade, etc., and can therefore send an e-mail to anyone I want to send an e-mail to. I want to get a movie made out of GINNY GOOD. You guys make movies. All I'm saying is, hey, yo, David E. Kelley, hey, yo, Rick Silverman, here's a great book. It would make a great movie. You guys should check it out. Period. Check it out or don't check it out, that's up to you. I'm doing you a favor. I don't even own the film rights, the publisher does. I included his contact information in my original e-mail which you can find here:

http://everyonewhosanyone.com/about.html

I also included the e-mail address of my "authorized" agent in my original e-mail. GINNY GOOD is neither a story idea, a treatment, a pitch or any other kind of cockamamie "submission," solicited or unsolicited, it's simply a book you guys can go to a bookstore and buy and see if you want to make a movie out of it or not. My "legal and proprietary interests" are completely protected, as are yours. Anybody with ten bucks can get a copy of GINNY GOOD. You can go to a library and read it for free. Thanks. G.

cc: Rick Silverman, Bob Breech

Myriad Pictures, Ltd.
3015 Main Street, Suite 400
Santa Monica, CA 90404
(310) 279-4000

1520 Cloverfield Blvd., Ste. D
Santa Monica, CA 90404

Cavendish House, 51-55 Mortimer St,
London W1W 8HJ
+44-20 7580 9200

http://www.myriadpictures.com

Regent Entertainment
8411 Preston Rd., Ste. 650
Dallas, TX 75225
(214) 373-3434

10990 Wilshire Blvd., Penthouse
Los Angeles, CA 90024
(310) 806-4288

http://www.regententertainment.com

New Yorker Films
85 Fifth Avenue, 11th Flr.
New York, N.Y. 10003
(212) 645-4600

http://www.newyorkerfilms.com

BBC Films
1 Mortimer Street
London WIT 3JA

http://www.bbc.co.uk

El Dorado Pictures
725 Arizona Ave., Ste. 100
Santa Monica, Ca 90401
310-458-4800

http://www.eldoradopictures.com

Carrie Productions
4444 Riverside Dr., Ste. 110
Burbank, CA 91505
(818) 567-3292

2625 Alcatraz Ave., Ste. 243
Berkeley, CA 94705
(510) 450-2500

Hallmark Entertainment
1325 Avenue of the Americas
New York, New York 10019

http://www.rhifilms.com

Imax
2525 Speakman Drive
Mississauga ON L5K 1B1
(905) 403-6500

http://www.imax.com

FremantleMedia Ltd.
1 Stephen Street
London W1T 1AL

1540 Broadway, 10th Flr.
New York, NY 10036
(212) 541-2800

2700 Colorado Ave., Ste. 450
Santa Monica, CA 90404
(310) 255-4700

http://www.fremantlemedia.com

Fortress Entertainment
6725 Sunset Blvd.
Los Angeles, CA 90028

http://www.fortress-ent.com

GRB Entertainment
13400 Riverside Drive
Sherman Oaks, CA 91423
(818) 728-7600

http://www.grbtv.com

A & E Television Networks
235 E. 45th Street
New York, NY 10017
(212) 210-1400

http://www.AandE.com

C-2 Pictures
2308 Broadway
Santa Monica, CA 90404
310-315-6000

Catfish Productions
23852 Pacific Coast Highway, Ste. 313
Malibu, CA 90265
(310) 456-6175

Edmonds Entertainment
1635 N. Cahuenga Blvd.
Los Angeles, CA 90028
(323) 860-1550

http://www.edmondsent.com

Ufland Productions
534 21st St.
Santa Monica, CA 90402
(310) 656-3031

Palm Pictures
601 W. 26th St., 11th Fl.
New York, NY 10001
(212) 320-3600

http://www.palmpictures.com

Antidote Films
200 Varick St., Ste 502
New York, NY 10014
(646) 486-4344

http://www.antidotefilms.com

Electric Entertainment
5707 Melrose Ave.
Hollywood, Ca 90038
(323) 817-1300

http://www.electric-entertainment.com

Taylor Made Films
1270 Stone Canyon Rd.
Los Angeles, CA 90077
(310) 472-1763

Solo One Productions
8205 Santa Monica Blvd.
Los Angeles, CA 90046
(323) 658-8748

Baldwin Entertainment Group
3000 West Olympic Blvd., Ste. 200
Santa Monica, CA 90404
(310) 453-9277

http://www.baldwinent.com

Tribune Entertainment
5800 Sunset Blvd., TEC Bldg.
Los Angeles, CA 90028
(323) 460-5800

http://www.tribtv.com

Tollin/Robbins Productions
4130 Cahuenga Blvd., Ste. 305
Toluca Lake, CA 91602
(818) 755-3000

http://www.tollinrobbins.com

Radar Pictures
10900 Wilshire Blvd.
Los Angeles, CA 90024
(310) 208-8525

http://www.radarpictures.com

Kathy Morgan International
12250 Sky Lane
Los Angeles, CA 90049
(310) 472-6300

http://www.kmifilms.com

EuropaCorp
137 rue du Faubourg Sainte Honore
75008 Paris, France

http://www.europacorp.com

Persistent Entertainment
9107 Wilshire Blvd., Ste. 500
Beverly Hills, CA 90210
(310) 777-0126

http://www.persistent-ent.com

Fatkid Films
2372 Veteran Ave., Ste. 201-202
Los Angeles, CA 90064
(310) 234-0942

http://www.fatkidfilms.com

Plastercity Productions
6565 Sunset Blvd. Ste. 500
Los Angeles, CA 90028
(323) 469-8500

http://www.plastercity.com

(@) = Not a corporate fascist. (Feel free to apply for non-corporate fascist status...simply tell me in fifty words or fewer why you think you're not a corporate fascist.)

(*) = E-mail bounced. Correct information much appreciated. In fact, anyone who knows anything I don't know, let me know.

(!) = E-mail blocked (just mine, not yours), probably 'cause the intended recipient and/or the company by which he or she is owned and operated is an extra brainwashed, super chicken, corporate fascist goon.

(666) = Asked not to be contacted (by me, not by you), very likely because he or she is a happy little slave boy or a happy little slave girl and doesn't want it any other way, uh-huh, uh-huh.

Gerard Jones
everyone@everyonewhosanyone.com