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May 11, 2008

My poor stupid Oprah book isn't ever gonna get done. The latest thing I'm calling it is Oprah's Dead Son. Maybe I'll make it a pome, instead. All advertising is spam. Here's Ginny Good in its entirety:

http://everyonewhosanyone.com/ggsyn1.html

Here are some sample chapters from The Audio Book of Ginny Good.

Chapter 7: North Beach, New Year's Eve, 1962
http://everyonewhosanyone.com/audio/GGch07m.mp3

Chapter 13: San Francisco, Tijuana, Mississippi, New York, Summer, 1964
http://everyonewhosanyone.com/audio/GGch13m.mp3

Chapter 19: La Honda, May, 1965
http://everyonewhosanyone.com/audio/GGch19m.mp3

Chapter 23: Haight-Ashbury, Fall, 1967, Part 1
http://everyonewhosanyone.com/audio/GGch23m.mp3

Chapter 24: Haight-Ashbury, Fall, 1967, Part 2
http://everyonewhosanyone.com/audio/GGch24m.mp3

Chapter 32: Hillsborough, CA, Summer, 1982
http://everyonewhosanyone.com/audio/GGch32m.mp3

Chapter 35: Ashland, OR, February, 2003
http://everyonewhosanyone.com/audio/GGch35m.mp3

Here's the index to the audio book:

http://everyonewhosanyone.com/ggsyn.html

If you want a copy of the whole huge fifteen-hour extravaganza on .mp3 CDs for free, give me an address and I'll send you a copy. There's a bunch of other stuff on my little website, too. Click some links and see. Thanks. G.

Gerard Jones
everyone@everyonewhosanyone.com
http://www.everyonewhosanyone.com

"...they'll have me whipped for speaking true, thou'lt
have me whipped for lying; and sometimes I am
whipped for holding my peace. I had rather be any
kind o' thing than a fool: and yet I would not be
thee, nuncle..."

Artellus Limited
30 Dorset House
Gloucester Place
London NW1 5AD

http://www.artellusltd.co.uk

Creative Authors
11-A Woodlawn Street, Whitstable, Kent, CT5 1HQ

http://www.creativeauthors.co.uk

Limelight Management
33 Newman Street
London W1T 1PY
020 7637 2529

http://www.limelightmanagement.com

Jenny Brown Associates
33 Argyle Place
Edinburgh EH9 1JT

http://www.jennybrownassociates.com

All fixed. Here's a free audio literary nonfiction chapter for you. Thanks. G.

http://everyonewhosanyone.com/audio/GGch23m.mp3

Imrie & Dervis Literary Agency
7 Carlton Mansions, Holmleigh Road
London N16 5PX

Dear Gerard, I have recently joined the agency as a literary agent. We specialise in general and literary fiction and non-fiction, but do not handle poetry, drama or screenplays. Thank you Gerard and keep up the good work, Regards, Robin

Dear Robin: Sure. All fixed. Go see. Hey, check this out:

http://www.bookwire.com

Go to "Helpful Resources" in the left column, then click on Agents & Editors. Thanks. G.

David Grossman Literary Agency
118B Holland Park Ave.
London W11 4UA

Anne Louise Fisher and Suzy Lucas
Literary Scouts
29 D'Arblay Street
London W1F 8EP

Tamar Karet Literary Agency
56 Priory Road, Crouch End
London N8 7EX

Dear Gerard, You obviously run a popular website because I've had lots of submissions due to our listing. I don't want people to waste their time, so could you please add that we don't handle children's books, screenplays, poetry, horror, science fiction or academic books? Unfortunately we can't accept electronic submissions, but we'll consider sample chapters (20 pages maximum) if they're posted along with a synopsis and s.a.e. Thanks. Yours, Tamar

Rupert Heath Literary Agency

http://www.rupertheath.com

Merric Davidson Literary Agency
12 Priors Heath, Goudhurst
Kent TN17 2RE

http://www.mdla.co.uk

Gregory & Company
3 Barb Mews
London W6 7PA

http://www.gregoryandcompany.co.uk

Lisa Eveleigh Literary Agency
3rd Floor, 11/12 Dover Street
London W1S 4LJ

Lorella Belli Literary Agency
54 Hartford House
35 Tavistock Crescent
Notting Hill
London W11 1AY

http://www.lorellabelliagency.com

We deal with both general fiction and nonfiction (no fantasy, SF, children's, original scripts, poetry, academic). Best wishes, Lorella Belli

Darley Anderson Agency
Estelle House
11 Eustace Road
London SW6 1JB

http://www.darleyanderson.com

Lucy Luck Literary

http://www.lucyluck.com

Futerman, Rose & Associates
Heston Court Business Park, Wimbledon
London SW19 4UW

http://www.futermanrose.co.uk

Thank you very much for contacting us concerning your work. I'm sorry to say that it is not for us but you should understand that we are a small company and as such, take on few new writers each year. Thank you for considering us and may I wish you success with the project elsewhere.

Thanks for your obviously unconsidered form letter. I'll add it to my stupendous collection. G.

The Hanbury Agency
27 Walcot Square
London, SE11 4UB
+44 (0)207 735 7680

http://www.hanburyagency.com

Lavinia Trevor Agency
29 Addison Place
London W11 4RJ
+44 (0)20 7603 5254

http://www.laviniatrevor.co.uk

Jonathan Clowes Ltd
Iron Bridge House, Bridge Approach
London NW1 8BD

Bell Lomax Agency
James House, I Babmaes Street
London SW1Y 6HF

Christine Green Authors' Agent
6 Whitehorse Mews
Westminster Bridge Road
London SE1 7QD

http://www.christinegreen.co.uk

Dear Gerard, I looked at your web-site just the other day--it's enormous fun, and I do hope you continue with it. Loved the correspondence with Laura—was yours her first sale in the end? Will she not be looking after your other works? Anyway, great good luck to you both. As for us: we're a tiny agency and represent mostly fiction. We love good story-telling—though not, I fear, sci-fi or fantasy. Our web-site gives the submission procedures—we prefer hard copies as we don't have the capacity to print off the hundred or so submissions we get every week, and reading on screen has us demented already. We respond as quickly as possible, but it does, nevertheless, take a while. Best wishes, Christine Green

Dear Christine: Laura's straightforward and smart. We hit it off and yes, I think that the memoir, GINNY GOOD, was the first book she sold, but she's sold a few more since then. She also retained the audio rights so she's still working on those, as well. I'm trying to sell my other books on my own or through a different agent just to savor the whole process through different prisms and because I like to do impossible things. I'll include the information you provided. Glad you enjoyed the website. Thanks again. G.

Eve White Literary Agent
Irish Hill House
Hampstead Marshall
Berkshire, RG20 0JB

http://www.evewhite.co.uk

Antony Harwood Ltd.
495 Riverbank House,
1, Putney Bridge Approach
London SW6 3JD

Dear Gerard, Thanks. Not much to add - like most other agents, I guess, I'm always looking out for good writers. And as we're only as good as our clients, then I should say that mine include Michael Bracewell, John Burnside, Ethan Coen, Louise Doughty, Robert Edric, Peter F. Hamilton, Alan Hollinghurst, A.L. Kennedy, Douglas Kennedy, Chris Manby, George Monbiot, Garth Nix, Tim Parks, Robert McLiam Wilson. Best wishes, Antony

Andrew Lownie Literary Agency
17 Sutherland St
London, SW1V 4JU

http://www.andrewlownie.co.uk

Dear Gerard, Congratulations on your website which, I can see, is a very valuable service to writers. I'm a small agency with about a hundred authors specialising in history and biography. Almost half the list are new writers and I'm happy to receive submissions (synopsis and sample chapter) by e-mail, fax or letter. I started the agency in 1988, having been a journalist, book seller, publisher and Director of Curtis Brown, because I felt there was room for a more personal service. The fact I am also a writer and have a legal background, I hope, gives me extra expertise and sympathy in dealing with authors and, as I'm the only member of staff, it means writers only deal with me and I read every single submission. I tend to sell US and film rights myself and take a long-term view in shaping a writer's career. I'm the literary agent to British PEN and founder of The Biographers Club. Hope this helps. Best wishes, Andrew Lownie

Dear Andrew: Absolutely perfect. Would that everyone were so forthcoming, succinct and informative. If you want a review copy of my narrative nonfiction book, Ginny Good, let me know and I'll have the publisher send you one. They own the UK rights and the film rights. And of course you're more than welcome to take a look at the samples from the other manuscripts I've put on the website, nobody owns them but me. Thanks. G.

Amanda Howard Associates
21 Berwick Street
London W1V 3RG

http://www.amandahowardassociates.co.uk

Maggie Pearlstine Associates Ltd.
31 Ashley Gardens, Ambrosden Avenue
London SW1P 1QE

Judith Murdoch Literary Agency
19 Chalcot Square
London NW1 8YA

Tanja Howarth Literary Agency
19 New Row
London WC2N 4LA

David Godwin Associates
55 Monmouth Street
London WC2H 9DG

Caroline Davidson Literary Agency
5 Queen Anne's Gardens
London, W4 1TU

http://www.cdla.co.uk

Dinah Wiener Ltd.
12 Cornwall Grove, Chiswick
London W4 2LB

The Ampersand Agency, Ltd.
Ryman's Cottages
Little Tew
Oxfordshire OX7 4JJ

http://www.theampersandagency.co.uk

Founded in 2003, the partners have nearly a century of publishing experience between them. The agency handles literary and commercial fiction and non-fiction, but not poetry, illustrated children's books, or science fiction. Send sample chapters and a synopsis by email or snail mail (include sae). No reading fee, We're encouraged by the fact that we've sold one of the first clients we took on, a debut Indian author, to publishers all over the world as well as to a film company. We've also made our rate of commission more flexible: 10-15% on UK rights, 15-20% on US rights, 20% on translation rights, and 15-20% on all other rights, depending on the work involved and any sub-agent's share. We're still looking for good writing, wherever it comes from. For further information, see our website. I'd be very happy to read them and give you my honest opinion. Best wishes, Peter Buckman, The Ampersand Agency

Dear Peter: I'll include the information you've provided. All my current projects, sold and unsold, may be found here:

http://everyonewhosanyone.com/other.html

Thanks. G.

Update: January, 2005

Dear Gerard, I thought you'd given up the site to concentrate on your own writing, but I'm glad you haven't, as we get some good referrals. I just want to say that we're no longer accepting submissions by email, as life is too short to spend it hunched over a screen. Happy to answer queries, but outlines and sample chapters should be sent by ordinary post. We aim to respond within four weeks. Oh, and we're not taking on more fantasy at the moment, as that bubble is definitely sagging. Best wishes, Peter Buckman

I got a little down in the dumps for a minute or two six months ago and some big Brit newspaper or magazine decided I had packed it in. They never said anything else about my little website, before or since. I'll fix things. Thanks. G.

Andrew Nurnberg Associates, Ltd.
Clerkenwell House
45-47 Clerkenwell Green
London EC1R 0HT

Mulcahy & Viney
First Floor, 34 Museum St.
Bloomsbury
London, WC1A1LH

http://www.mvagency.com

Dear Sir, Please REMOVE ALL our DETAILS including email address and contacts names from your database IMMEDIATELY. We do NOT advertise or promote our agency anywhere. We have already been receiving nuisance emails already from this listing. Please confirm that you have done this. Thank you in advance. Ivan Mulcahy

Dear Ivan: Please refer to my inclusion/exclusion policy at the bottom of this page:

http://everyonewhosanyone.com/about.html

Thanks. G.

Gerard, Our new business has carefully managing its resources so has to be able to support and promote our authors successfully. We have deliberately avoided any listing in trade directories or elsewhere and thus have carefully built up a strong list of writers by recommendation. The consequence of your placing our email addresses on your website; done in your own interest – certainly not ours of that of our authors – is now leading to a waste of time as we read unsolicited submissions. When I ask you to remove this you refer me to a sarcastic note on your website that points towards a chargeable service (the owners of which, I suspect, reward you for clients found in this way). Your policy and approach are strikingly unprofessional and hypocritical, given the criticisms you roundly level at the publishing industry on your site. I suggest you consider this and act to support a business that works very hard to find and develop new writing talent while making a living. i.e. PLEASE REMOVE OUR LISTING NOW. We don't need to pay for a spam service – we just need to be off your website. Thank you.

Ivan: It was to the bottom of the text in the "About This Directory" section that I referred you, which I will quote: "I will also gladly correct any inaccurate information. I will not, however, remove the names or e-mail addresses of people who merely consider themselves too hoity-toity to be bothered with writers. What these guys forget is that it's writers who write the books—all agents, editors and publishers do is represent, buy and sell what is in their best economic interests to represent, buy and sell. I have no hope of altering that incestuous arrangement by any means, but that ain't gonna keep me from trying to alter it. Ha! Thanks." I got your "details" from a search of the Internet, you were and therefore are listed somewhere. The website is completely free of any form of advertising whatsoever and I receive only the most meager of donations. You may read more about the philosophical underpinnings of the project here:

http://www.mobylives.com/Jones_EWA.html

I will also publish the exchanges we've had under your listing on the website and I will tell you in advance that if you wish your words to be removed I will honor that request. You own the copyrights to your words—in exactly the same way that I own the copyrights to my words and, in the time-honoured tradition of freedom of speech and freedom of the press in both England and America, I would prefer that my words stay on my website if it's all the same to you. In fact you might make better use of your time taking a look at the books I have on offer, which may be reviewed by clicking this:

http://everyonewhosanyone.com/other.html

Oh, I also found your "details" listed in several places, by the way, one of which you pay a monthly fee to have your "details" listed in, but the good news is that I took a look at your website and decided to move your listing up a few notches since you appear to be a decent, mid-tier agency. Thanks again. G.

Redhammer
186 Bickenhall Mansions
London W1U 6BX

http://www.redhammer.biz

Hi, Gerard, Thanks for this preview. It would really help if you didn't publish our private e-mail addresses. We'd prefer submissions to use our submissions system on the website, www.redhammer.biz. I get so many e-mails now that unsolicited submissions stand a much better chance if they use our system, and don't try to circumvent it. All my best wishes, Peter Cox

I'll include your advice but for my own purposes I like using individual e-mail addresses and I made the site for my own purposes. Thanks. G.

Campbell Thomson & McLaughlin
1 King's Mews
London WC1N 2JA

Author Literary Agents
53 Talbot Road
Highgate
London N6 4QX

Chapman & Vincent
The Mount, Sun Hill
Royston
Hertfordshire SG8 9AT

Clissitt Michie Agency Ltd.
22 Shinfield Street
London W12 0HN

Sayle Screen Ltd.
11 Jubilee Place
London SW3 3TD

http://www.saylescreen.com

The Sayle Literary Agency
Bickerton House
25--27 Bickerton Road
London N19 5JT

Elaine Steel
110 Gloucester Avenue
London NW1 8HX

Lou Coulson
37 Berwick Street,
London W1F 8RS

CCA Management
Garden Level,
32 Charlwood Street,
London SW1V 2DY

Creative Media Management
3B, Walpole Court,
Ealing Studios,
London W5 5ED

http://www.creativemediamanagement.com

Bigfish Management
Tudor House,
Llanvanor Road,
Child's Hill, London NW2 2AR

http://www.bigfishmanagement.com

Dorie Simmonds Agency
67 Upper Berkeley Street
London W1H 7QX

Attwooll Associates
90 Divinity Road
Oxford OX4 1LN
+44 1865 422230

http://www.attwoollassociates.com

The Maggie Noach Literary Agency
Unit 4, 246 Acklam Road
London, W10 5YG

http://www.mnla.co.uk

Shelley Power Literary Agency, Ltd.
13 rue du Pré Saint Gervais, 75019
Paris, France

Susie Adams Rights Agency
8 Sullivan Road
London SE11 4UH

Shirley Stewart Literary Agency
3rd Floor
21 Denmark Street
London WC2H 8NA

John Pawsey Agency
60 Tarring High Street
Worthing
West Sussex BN14 7NR

PVA Management Limited
Hallow Park
Worcester WR2 6PG

http://www.pva.co.uk

Mic Cheetham Literary Agency
11-12 Dover Street
London W1S 4LJ

http://www.miccheetham.com

Rupert Crew, Ltd.
1A King's Mews
London WC1N 2JA

John Johnson Ltd.
Clerkenwell House
45-47 Clerkenwell Green
London EC1R 0HT

Radala & Associates
17 Avenue Mansions, Finchley Road
London NW3 7AX

Robert Smith Literary Agency, Ltd.
12 Bridge Wharf
156 Calendonian Road
London, N1 9UU

Intercontinental Literary Agency
33 Bedford Street
London, WC2E 9ED

Barbara Levy Literary Agency
64 Greenhill
Hampstead High Street
London NW3 5TZ

Laura Cecil Literary Agency
17 Alwyne Villas
London N1 2HG

Dorian Literary Agency
Upper Thornehill, 27 Church Road, St Marychurch
Torquay, Devon TQ1 4QY

Dear Gerard Jones, I was very pleased that you contacted me to make sure you had an up to date version of the agency's current position concerning new writers. I find that some new writers who trawl cyberspace for information have a very patchy knowledge of things. I would be very grateful if you would give this information concerning Dorian Literary Agency: This is a small, independent, one woman agency and therefore has to keep its client list to a reasonable, workable size so that its existing clients are not skimped on time. The client list really is full. I would ask that any approach is only made in writing - DO NOT TELEPHONE PLEASE! - with the first chapter, a one page outline, and information about your writing career. Always enclose return postage. I do not accept e-mail or fax submissions. I am currently only reading adult fiction in crime, thriller, romance, historical, sf, fantasy and horror. If I like the first chapter I will ask to read more. The percentage likelihood of that happening out of 250 enquiries a month is maybe two or three. Out of the 30 to 40 full MSS read per year, I might take on one or two as yet unpublished writers. The chances are extremely slim. Gerard, if you get a chance to spread the word to reduce the flood of submissions I'm getting I'd be very grateful - I do need to have SOME time off at weekends! Dorothy Lumley

Dear Dorothy: I'll include your description of your agency and your preferences vis-a-vis new writers. Just TAKE time off on weekends. Enjoy. It's spring. Newborn baby lambs are prinking among the daffodils. Go see. Thanks. G.

Essential Works Limited
168-A Camden Street
London NW1 9PT

http://www.essentialworks.co.uk

Author Management
P.O. Box 4646
Bournemouth,
Dorset. BH8 9ZF

http://www.author-management.com

Hello Gerard. If you are serious about wanting to get into print then you have to submit to that terrible condition, compromise. It doesn't kill, it doesn't even cause brain damage but it might hurt a bit at first. If you ever steel yourself for it, I would like to see the result. James Rouch.

I don't know what you mean by compromise, but if you don't think you can sell it you can't, I do know that. Thanks for taking a look. Make lots of money. G.

Gerard...Compromise...A half-way house between writing want you want to write and the hell with getting published...and writing what you need to write in the hope of getting published. James.

If I wanted exclusively to make money I'd write TV jingles or contrived mainstream schlock. Read Celine. Instant cash don't necessarily equate with longterm success. That which doesn't pander to the lowest common denominator's more valuable than that which does. You may come to know that someday or you may not. I wish you the best either way. G.

Hello Gerard. I have had many interesting responses to our entry on your web site and in fact have been able to offer representation, eventually, to some. Now though we have a full client list and our future needs will be met by recommendation. As a small agency I do prefer to work that way so would it please be possible to convey our situation to your readers? Sincerely, James Rouch

Dear James: Consider it conveyed. Thanks. G.

Rebecca Winfield Literary Agency
5-B Walpole Court
Ealing Studios
London, W5 5ED

Duncan McAra
28 Beresford Gardens
Edinburgh EH5 3ES

Cat Ledger Literary Agency
20-21 Newman Street
London W1T 1PG

Robert Dudley Agency
8 Abbotstone Road
London, SW15 1QR

Fox & Howard Literary Agency
4 Bramerton Street
London SW3 5JX

Eric Glass, Ltd.
25 Ladbroke Crescent, Notting Hill
London W11 1PS

Anubis Literary Agency
6 Birdhaven Close
Lighthorne Heath, Banbury Road
Warwick, CV35 OBE

Kate Hordern Literary Agency
18 Mortimer Road, Clifton
Bristol BS8 4EY

David O'Leary Literary Agency
10 Lansdowne Court, Lansdowne Rise
London W11 2NR

Canadian Literary Agents

Anne McDermid & Associates
92 Willcocks Street
Toronto, Ontario M5S 1C9
(416) 324-8845

http://www.mcdermidagency.com

The Bukowski Agency
14 Prince Arthur Avenue, Suite 202
Toronto, Ontario M5R 1A9

http://www.thebukowskiagency.com

The Rights Factory
PO Box 499, Station C
Toronto, ON M6J 3P6

http://www.therightsfactory.com

Westwood Creative Artists
94 Harbord Street
Toronto, Ont M5S-1G6

Hello, I'm a Canadian literary agent who's being besieged by letters of inquiry from US authors that derive from your website. At Westwood Creative Artists we basically represent only Canadian writers, so having my address listed as it is basically does not serve either us or your readers. Is it possible to have my name either de-listed, or changed to reflect the fact that we only represent Canadian authors? Thank you in advance. John Pearce

Consider it reflected. Thanks. G.

Beverley Slopen Literary Agency
131 Bloor St. W., Suite 711
Toronto, Canada M5S 1S3

http://www.slopenagency.on.ca

Helen Heller Literary Agency
32 Bayhampton Court
Toronto, ON M3H 5L6

http://www.helenhelleragency.com/index1.html

The Cooke Agency Inc.
278 Bloor Street East, Suite 305
Toronto, ON M4W 3M4

http://www.cookeagency.ca

Bella Pomer Agency
22 Shallmar Blvd., PH-2
Toronto, ON M5N 2Z8

Please indicate in your listing that Bella Pomer Agency Inc. is taking on no new clients. Many thanks. Bella

Carolyn Swayze Literary Agency
WRPO Box 39588
White Rock, B.C., Canada V4B 5L6
(604) 538-3478

http://www.swayzeagency.com

Seventh Avenue Literary Agency
1663 West 7th Avenue
Vancouver, BC V6J 1S4

http://www.seventhavenuelit.com

Spectrum Creative Services
341 Oakland Ave.
London, Ontario N5W

I make all my money from commission on book sales. I do offer some editing of the manuscripts I accept, in order to make them more appealing to an editor. But I do not charge for this service. Thank you in advance. I love your listing! Warmly, Christine Sharpe, Spectrum Creative Services

Transatlantic Literary Agency
72 Glengowan Road
Toronto, ON M4N 1G4

http://www.tla1.com

Robert Lecker Agency
4055 Melrose Avenue
Montreal, H4A 2S5
(514) 830-4818

http://www.leckeragency.com

Rick Broadhead & Associates
47 St. Clair Ave. West, Ste. 501
Toronto, ON M4V 3A5

Pamela Paul Agency
12 Westrose Avenue
Toronto, Ontario M8X 1Z9

Spiridon Literary Agency
PO Box 47594
946 Lawrence Ave. E., Ste. 2
Toronto, ON M3C 1P0

Acacia House Publishing Services
51 Acacia Road
Toronto, Ontario M4S 2K6

Plain Smart Publishing Agency
520 Kerr Street, Ste. 20033
Oakville, ON L6K 3C7
(416) 907-8325

http://www.plainsmart.com

Irish Literary Agents

Marianne Gunn O'Connor Literary Agency
Morrison Chambers, Ste. 17
32 Nassau Street
Dublin 2, Republic of Ireland

Book Bureau Literary Agency
7 Duncairn Avenue, Bray
Co. Wicklow
Republic of Ireland

Lisa Richards Agency
46 Upper Baggot Street
Dublin 4, Ireland

(@) = Not a corporate fascist. (Feel free to apply for non-corporate fascist status...simply tell me in fifty words or fewer why you think you're not a corporate fascist.)

(*) = E-mail bounced. Correct information much appreciated. In fact, anyone who knows anything I don't know, let me know.

(!) = E-mail blocked (just mine, not yours), probably 'cause the intended recipient and/or the company by which he or she is owned and operated is an extra brainwashed, super chicken, corporate fascist goon.

(666) = Asked not to be contacted (by me, not by you), very likely because he or she is a happy little slave boy or a happy little slave girl and doesn't want it any other way, uh-huh, uh-huh.

Gerard Jones
everyone@everyonewhosanyone.com